Blog #18~ A Cut Above The Rest
Haircuts are no fun with Nick, period.
I can still remember the first time they started to bother him. It was right before we moved to California in 1998. He was around four years old. I took him in on a Sunday morning hoping the churchgoers would be worshipping and the salon would be empty. We walked in and there was only one lady who sat relaxed in her chair and getting a perm. I sat him on my lap and as soon as the scissors came out, he began squirming and yelling. Next thing you know he set off the car remote I had put in my pocket. I couldn’t get out of the salon quick enough. I slapped a twenty down on the counter and got the hell out of there. That was one of the last professional haircuts he ever got.
Nick’s first haircut in 1996, this one went well……
Nick the early years. His hair was so soft and silky…..
It got to the point where we decided to get some clippers and just give him a home haircut. Nick’s new look became the buzz cut.
The older he got, the stronger Nick became. Nick has Down syndrome and autism. His behaviors became more challenging as he got older. He started putting up a big fight. In fact, if you ever wondered why his tooth is chipped it was from him flailing his body and hitting his face on the floor during a haircut. Al and I began to dread them as much as Nick did. Bribes, oh I mean rewards such as a Sprite and a shower didn’t seem to help either. He began to pitch even bigger fits and we had no choice but to pin him down. The worst haircut was sitting on the floor of the bathroom with my legs around him and my arms holding his in a basket hold. We were covered with sweat and his fallen hair felt like needles jabbing at our skin. Nick flailed and then peed all over the floor. We sat there in a puddle of warm urine and fallen hair sticking to us. Worst yet, we were only half done. Picture this, a buzz cut front in the front and mullet in the back.
As I mentioned earlier the bigger the fight, the more traumatized he became (and the longer it took him to de-escalate). We would finish these sessions and he would be shaking, red-faced with tears streaming down his cheeks. It broke my heart. 😦
As Nick got into his teen years, I worried that we were going to have to go to extreme measures. Then, there was another area of hair removal to be addressed. He was starting to grow facial hair, nooooooooooo!
Now it was already impossible to give him haircuts and clipping his toenails was no walk in the park either. It’s much easier after being in the hot tub or a long shower so that the nails are a little bit supple. How could we possibly get a razor to his face. Luckily I had a good team of teachers and aides in high school who offered both visual supports and tips to tackle this next hurdle.
I have to give a lot of credit to Rob Trefil, Nick’s aide in high school. He was able to get Nick to tolerate an electric razor and actually get in there at his chin and mustache area. We found the roller top razor worked much better than the rotary one. Introduce shaving a little bit at a time. Then, increase the time with each session and lots of praise. Having a male to model this helps a lot.
Mr. T rocks…..
Big guy shaving……
Last weekend, we geared up for another haircut session. I was worried because we had waited too long and his mop was out of control. It was going to be like cutting the lawn two weeks too late.
Pre-haircut Nick, it’s a bit scrappy?
To my surprise, Nick did outstanding. In fact, it was the easiest haircut we had ever given him. He didn’t cry or get too upset at all. Hallelujah 🙂
Post haircut Nick….. *A cut above the rest!
I think a couple of things have happened to tone down the level of anxiety and how he tolerates haircuts. Puberty has passed along with the severe aggressive meltdowns. I see a maturity about Nick now that he is a young adult. As parents, we have learned more about behavior management, and use visuals to guide him through the process. We also figured out that it’s easier to cut his hair first thing in the morning before being bombarded with sensory overload. Finally, investing in a good pair of clippers makes the cuts go smoother. Nick even helps some with it. I am so glad the days of holding him down in a basket hold and shearing him are gone. That is what’s in my noggin, until next Monday may every day be a good hair day!
*A cut above the rest…. It is originated from the saying “you and I are cut from the same cloth” (being the fabric of life) and that the cloth, from which you were cut… was or superior quality.