Posted in Autism, Behavior/ ABA

Blog #77~Autism and Meltdowns

Blog#77~Autism and Meltdowns

I would rather write about anything else than what an autism meltdown looks like (even poop accidents).

poop icon

It’s a difficult subject, personal in nature and exposes a lot of vulnerability.  I am just one of so many dealing with these raging outbursts. My son Nick is 19 years old and has Down syndrome and autism.  So, for all of the warrior moms out there in the battlefield…. This one is for you!

When Nick was in the throes of puberty, his meltdowns were horrific.  He would destroy everything in his path.  His arms slung hard hitting, kicking, biting and drawing blood with his pinching.  These intense battles became so bad and frequent that I had to take action.  I was no longer able to control my own son.  Here is what I did……

Three things we did to get things under control:

1.  Nick was put on medication, Risperdal to help calm him down and be less agitated.

2.  I called an emergency IEP meeting and insisted that the school district’s autism specialist be brought in to help out. We tracked his behavior both at school and home to figure out what might be triggering his anger.  Then we came up with a behavior plan.  You see, every behavior communicates something.  In Nick’s case, he wasn’t being heard.

3.  The autism specialist determined that the staff, Nick and I needed to be properly trained to use the picture exchange system (PECS). The pictures gave Nick a voice that autism had robbed him of.  Finally, he felt in control.  The incidences of the teenage sized temper tantrum quickly diminished.

PECS Communication Book:

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Fast forward to the present….. Nick has been unsettled.  He is expressing it by shoving us away.  It’s like he is saying, “Hey, I am 19 years old and coming into adult age.  Back the F#&K off!”  Nick had two serious meltdowns in the past week.  Each seemed to come out of nowhere.  But there is always something brewing inside. You just have to back track and figure out what might have been the trigger(s) to set him off.

Portrait of an Autism Meltdown: The Scenario, Triggers and Outcome

(Also known as the ABC’s: Antecedent-Behavior-Consequence) Here’s a sample form used to work on a Behavior Support Plan………

IMG01

Timeline of Nick’s Meltdown

A=Antecedents:

*Routine is off the past couple of weeks Nick’s Dad had shoulder surgery=added stress around the house.

*Nick has a runny nose and woke up way too early.

*Dinner at Nick’s Aunt & Uncle’s recently purchased home-new environment

*Al pulls into his brother’s driveway and has to back up a few times.  Nick hates it when you pull in and then have back up.  He thinks you aren’t going to stay so he panics, bangs on the window, pinches his cheeks and yells loudly.

*Nick’s bored and no one is paying attention to him.  He looks to stir things up. He sits down on the couch with his iPod, but doesn’t last there long.  He finds my purse and empties the contents it down the stairs. Then, he bonks poor Cali on the head with the can of tennis balls he is stimming on.

Poor Cali, retreats to the kitchen…….

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*Aunt Ali makes Nick’s favorite pasta dish, and has bought his favorite dessert. 🙂

little debbie cakes

*Oh no, I realize that once the Little Debbies are introduced Nick’s going to make a bee line to the shower. That’s his routine.

beelinne pic

*Sure enough, he strips down in the bathroom upstairs. The water doesn’t get as hot as Nick likes…. NOT GOOD, this is going to make him mad.

B=Behavior:

*He shivers and is pissed as I help him towel off.   I hand him his street clothes to put back on.  (I should have brought his pajamas.)  He flung them across the bathroom, then he proceeded to grab the tissue box, toothpaste, magazines, hand towel and hurl them as well. THIS IS IT…….

Point of no return

*I managed to contain him between the toilet and bathtub and shield myself as he lunges at me pinching, bruising and scratching my arms.  I use a towel much like a bullfighter does against a raging bull.  Only I am the one who becomes bloodied, not the bull.

bullfighter pic

*Nick is nearly my size.  There is no possible way to do *CPI Holds (see link below) on him anymore.  It’s more about getting him in a safe place and deflecting his blows.

calm down autistic child

It took 30+ minutes for Nick to de-compress from this meltdown, (most are 10-15 max these days).  I felt raw, defeated and exposed.  Nick started to work through his emotions.  He cursed, hit and pinched himself as if he was replaying the meltdown. My heart breaks a thousand times in these moments.

Consequence:

Eventually Nick showed remorse and said, “sorry”.   That’s when you know he has de-escalated.  He put on his clothes, said our apologies and drove home in silence.

THAT is a portrait of an autism meltdown!

The next morning, I brewed a K-cup and began to dissect what had happened to cause the meltdown.  Nick thrives best in a predictable environment and visual picture schedule that he can follow.

So, I go back to the ABC Functional Behavior form:

A=Antecedent (what happened before)? All the things listed above were building up inside him.

B=Behavior (Nick’s tired, confused, mad at the cold water and no pj’s, he lashes out.)

C=Consequence (After the meltdown, Nick de-escalates and apologizes and we go home.)

I’m still trying to figure out Nick’s world.  In retrospect, I should have increased his med dose before the dinner and made a visual schedule with pictures of their new home.  On the schedule put the following icons on:

“New house”

“Dinner”

“Dessert”

“All Done”

“Car”

“Home”

Or at the very least, just brought his pajamas.  So, I will re-boot and learn from this mistake just as I’ve done before.  Autism and meltdowns can be scary and brutal.  But they can also be prevented if you look ahead to the environment, and plan ahead for anything that might set your child off.

That’s what is in my noggin this week.

~Teresa

*CPI= “Crisis Prevention Institute offers trainings in “Nonviolent Crisis Intervention.”  The program is safe, nonharmful behavior management system designed to help humans service professionals provide the best possible care, welfare, safety and security of disruptive, assaultive and out-of control individuals even during their most violent moments”  For more Information: http://www.crisisprevention.com.

Posted in Autism, Down syndrome, Recreation/Leisure and Special Needs

Blog #54~Mom Helpline

Blog #54~Mom Helpline

What did I want for Mother’s Day?  ……………………. Just the sound of crickets.…..

I applaud the moms who enjoy breakfast in bed served by their kids.  I am not there anymore.  Really all I want is a little peace.  For me, it is having the luxury to take some time to do simple errands. Not rushing at a mad pace. It’s a gift just knowing that someone is watching Nick so I don’t have to bust my ass to get home.   And so I did.  I took my time after teaching two spin classes. I drove out of work slowly taking a chill pace towards Oswego.  I  stopped off at Ulta, Kohls, Target.  Oh how I love you three amigos!  Ladies, you are with me here, right? 🙂

So I got my wish, to breathe, stretch my arms out and enjoy doing what I like.  I also received a nice handmade gift from Nick.

pinecone birdfeeder

It lasted less than a day hanging on the shepherds hook.  A menacing squirrel plucked it off and darted across the yard holding it in his mouth.  Al got my favorites,  Yankee Candles and a new fountain for the deck.  That’s how I get my Zen on.

zen

While Nick showers me with little kisses, his older brother is more understated. Hank quietly posted a message on Facebook, “Happy Mother’s Day, Madre!  You’re the best.”

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Later he emerged out of the shower clean shaven and said, “This is your mother’s day gift.”  He knows exactly how to win his Madre’s heart.

While I was out driving yesterday and I pondered on what to write about for this week.  How is being a mom of a child with special needs different?  The images of my all my fellow warrior moms came to mind.  The path we were given is worn with sleeplessness that extends for years.  The basic milestones like eating solid foods, walking, talking, and potty training take longer to reach.  Some of these may never be met. The ones that do get met are sweet and savory.  Warrior moms become experts on their child’s diagnosis and IEP’s (Individualized Education Plans.)  They learn a whole new vocabulary of words from doctors, educators, speech, occupational and physical therapists.  They juggle schedules to all of these therapies and carve out time to attend conferences and seminars to learn more about how to improve the quality of life for their child. They become advocates for their child and help others who follow behind them.  Those with children who have behavior problems have to shift gears during a mid laundry fold and clean up a splatter or cut a meltdown off at the pass.

This is just one of many things Nick has dumped out.  For the full list check out Blog #3~Getting Your Goat, located in the April 2012 Archives!

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Sometimes the meltdowns just happen and the warrior mom has to maintain patience while their child is hitting, biting, pinching, kicking and destroying everything in their path.  It’s not all doom and gloom.  Having a son like Nick who has Down syndrome and autism can also bring sweetness, innocence and unconditional love.  That is what keeps me fueled as I take a breath and get ready for another day.

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What can you do to help a mom with a child who has special needs?  It means a great deal when I get a message, text or card.  Knowing that someone is thinking about you can really make a person’s day.  Offer to babysit or help a mom find respite care. “The Care.Com Team” provides a list of caregivers who have experience working with special needs children. Watch for signs that a family is becoming to isolated.  Sometimes being in the trenches, we might not realize how bad things have gotten. During the height of Nick’s puberty period, my in-laws (Jim and Theresa) saw that we were in over our heads. They found some resources and parents to help us find a new path for dealing with the difficult problems we were having.  Reaching out and finding support is essential.   This can be through a local group like NADS (National Association for Down Syndrome).  There are many groups online and through Facebook that I have found to be helpful such as “MyAutismTeam,” “Circle of Moms,” and “Mom2Mom” which has a hotline 1-877-914-Mom2.  There are many more listed under my resource page.

Today there is no school so I wasn’t sure how well I would be able to concentrate to do this piece. Nick was up earlier playing his iPod loudly and pushing buttons as I tried to sleep with one eye open. Over an hour later he crawled in bed next to me.  Surprisingly, he is taking a page out of his brother’s book, still sleeping in now. 🙂

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It’s 11:00am and all I hear is the dull hum of the refrigerator and the sound of my fingers tapping on the keyboard.  No iPod or Thomas the Tank Engine blaring, no water faucets running full blast, no phone intercom or microwave buttons being pushed.  Just crickets…………

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Cheers to all you moms out there and may your Mother’s Day wishes come true. That’s what is in my noggin this week.

~Teresa