Blog #230~ Book Review: Scoot Over and Make Some Room
My recent summer read– Scoot Over and Make Some Room: Creating a Space Where Everyone Belongs, by author and Instagram star, Heather Avis is a must read. She is the mother of 3 adopted children, two with Down’s syndrome and one of color. Here is one review from her book that speaks volumes:
“In a world of divisions and margins, those who act, look, and grow a little differently are all too often shoved aside. Scoot Over and Make Some Room is part inspiring narrative and part encouraging challenge for us all to listen and learn from those we’re prone to ignore.”
Each chapter in the book Scoot Over and Make Some Room extends the challenge to make room for not only individuals with Down syndrome but way beyond to all individuals with different abilities, ethnicities, race, viewpoints and perspectives. Heather’s book is filled with humorous stories, challenges and lessons she has learned raising her 3 children, navigating IEP’s, inclusion and acceptance. But this book dives down much further, by challenging the reader to look into their own lives and broaden your understanding and compassion towards people who may be different from you.
My son Nick is 26 years old and has a dual diagnosis of Down syndrome and autism (DS-ASD). In my book A New Course: A Mother’s Journey Navigating Down Syndrome and Autism @ https://amzn.to/2W3Un6X there are many stories about times where I would brace myself in public. Countless times I would apologize for my son’s seemingly inappropriate behavior, and yes like Heather have a moment where the pants have gone down, 🙂
Heather tells about the “pants down in the park” episode that was highly inappropriate (and a one-time occurrence) with her daughter Macyn. I can attest to the need to be on high alert and cringing at times. Macyn is a very spirited and outgoing girl who likes to engage with strangers by waving and sometimes asking “WHATCHA NAME?” This happened once at a hip LA restaurant. This raises a good question: Is this behavior inappropriate or just different than the social norm? Why are we so fearful to interact with individuals who have an intellectual or developmental disability? Often it is fear of the unknown and being uncomfortable around someone who may speak or act differently.
Heather writes this powerful message in her book:
“We fear the unknown. And unfortunately, until we create space for people with physical and intellectual disabilities to show up exactly as they are and give them permission to interrupt our social norms, they will continue to be unknown and we will continue to be fearful,”–Heather Avis
What a profound message this is to society and lesson about acceptance. Personally, I feel that the world could use more kind interactions like saying “hi” and “WHATCHA NAME.” Obviously, we can all agree that “pants down in the park” is an inappropriate behavior. But as Heather writes in part:
“all of us have a responsibility to shift the way we react when faced with uncomfortable social situations. All of need to scoot over and make some room for people to respond in a way we’re not use to.”–Heather Avis
One of my favorite parts of this book is the chapter entitled “Make room for the Wildflowers.” Much of what we do in life is like a garden– planted in nice, neat rows. Take for instance inside school classrooms where the desks are all lined and in sync. Is there any space for the wildflowers to grow in these tidy rows? This metaphor opens up the dialog about inclusion and different abilities working alongside in the same classroom. Can we scoot over and make some room to let the wildflowers grow amongst the seamless rows and see the value of inclusion and all abilities? I can speak from experience that my son, Nick brought great value and taught lessons of patience, compassion and unconditional love to his peers while in the inclusion classroom setting. He continues to do so as a young adult with his interactions out in the community and at his adult developmental day training program.
There is so much more to this book and you will have to read it to find out for yourself. Scoot Over and Make Some Room is a call to action to shout the worth of people who are left out and misunderstood. Every parent, extended family member, physician, educator, pastor and others will gain a deeper understanding of how to do a better job to adjust, sit and listen in order to learn how to find a way to make room for everyone to be valued, accepted and included in our society.
That’s what is in my noggin this week.
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Heather Avis writes from the heart about all the things she wishes the every day person knew about inclusion. This book applies to teachers, parents, siblings and simply everyone who wants to change the way we see inclusion in the world around us.